Petyr and Sansa's Escape
by GirthyBill
Summary: Petyr and Sansa feel the need to leave the Eyrie. Cool.


The air was thick with penises as Petyr Baelish came (lol) to on the floor of the Eyrie with his head in Sansa's lap.

'R U K Drling yeh?' asked Sansa.

'Why are penises orbiting my head?' replied Petyr.

'You hit your head. Would you like me to bring you milk of the poppy?'

'No, but I'd like to put my milk in your poppy. By milk I mean my semen, and by poppy I mean your vagina.'

'I have nightmares about that Moondoor; we have to get away from here.'

'But Sansa, I like the Moondoor. I like your Moondoor. By Moondoor, I mean you vagina.'

'Lord Baelish….'

'Please, call me Petyr' He interrupted.

'Petyr, we should run to lake Windermere.'

'Yes, I could start a new Petyr Barlish Ye Olde Brothel.'

The duo set off for Windermere. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

'Sansa, look, a storm is coming, and soon so will I.'

Suddenly, a large redwood on the path ahead was struck with a bolt of lightning.

'Gods Lord Baelish!' exclaimed Sansa.

'Please, call me Petyr!'

'The tree has been uprooted!'

'I'll go up in your roots. By that I mean your vagina and mouth.'

Sansa giggled nervously. 'Look Petyr, there's Scarfell Pike up ahead.

'Yes, it's marvellous. It reminds me of your breasts. Also, I would like to Scarfell your pike. By pike I mean vagina, and by Scarfell I mean have sex with.'

'Petyr, I'm hungry, can we please stop for some food.'

'I have something you can eat. Can you guess what it is?'

'Is it…'

Petyr interrupts 'MY PENIS?'

'I want something I can really get my teeth into..'

'I have lemon drizzle cake or chocolate éclairs.'

'Lemon drizzle, my favourite! Let's start with that!'

'Well it's not exactly a lemon drizzle…'

'What do you mean?' Sansa asked quizzically.

'I'm going to ejaculate on you and cover you with jif lemon juice.;

'I think I'll have an éclair…'

'Yes, you'd like to eat my éclair wouldn't you? It may not have chocolate on it, but it has plenty of cream inside.'

Sansa tucked into Petyr's offerings. After ten minutes, she told him she was full.

'Yes' Petyr said. 'Full of my creamy semen.'

'Yes' said Sansa.

'and lemon Jif.'

'Where to now Lord Baelish?'

'I've told you before; Call me Petyr!'

'So then…'

'We have a choice, Windermere or Conniston?'

'Conniston'

'You want some Connistonlingus eh? Whore!'

'Windermere then.'

The two mounted their steeds and trotted on down the A591.

Soon they approached the shores of the lake. Petyr pulled Sansa close to him and grabbed here bosom. She gave out a moan as he began to work his hands up her inner thighs.

'Sweetling' he said. ' You're wetter than lake Windermere.'

She said nothing, savouring his touch as he whispered in her ear 'When I'm finished with you, Winterfell won't be the only area that's been destroyed.'

Petyr ripped of her dress to expose her breasts and motorboated her with an enthusiasm that would've got them across the lake in mere minutes, if it had been a real motorboat, and not her breasts. Petyr's cheecks became too warm and so her removed his head from her breasts to discover they had been transported to a distant jetty at Cockshott point by their motorboating. Sansa looked arounf in amazement and asked Petyr 'How did we end up on this jetty?'

'I'd like to jet all over your jetty. By jet I mean ejaculate and by jetty I mean tits.'

Petyr continued to scour the landscape to see a couple of sailing boats in the distance with erected masts.

'Sansa' Petyr said.

'Lord Baelish…'

'Please. Call. Me. Petyr!' Do these sails remind you of anything?'

'Yes actually, the remind me…'

Petyr interrupted 'Of your nipples?'

Just then, Tyrion Lanister waddled past and casually called over to them ' Watch out for toxic algae… and seaweed!'

'Where were we Sansa?' said Petyr. 'Have you heard the legends of the sword in the lake?'

'Please tell it again Petyr' replied Sansa.

'Well my dear. I'd like to put my sword and hilt in your lake. By sword I mean penis and by lake I mean your vagina and by hilt I mean my balls Sansa. My balls. '

All this talking had made them hungry again. A duck walked past.

'I would love some roasted duck' Sansa thought to herself.

'I'd like to tear you apart like a freshly roasted duck' said Petyr.

Sansa did her confused face.

'I want to rip out your giblet ' he growled ' and lick honey off your roasted breasts. I want to tear your legs apart and lick up the juices.'

Sansa still had her confused face on. After all these euphemisms, Petyr was sufficiently erect and Sansa was adequately wet. They shagged a bit. Petyr was about to ejaculate when he proclaimed to Sansa in a high-pitched squeal 'Time to find out if you're still a little bird or a Swallow… er.'

Petyr then jizzed in her mouth. She gulped it down like a proper woman. Petyr said breathlessly 'Little did you know Sansa, a Swallow is a little bird!'

Now that she was full of 6 million or so of Petyr's sea men, she had more than enough man power to traverse the lake with ease. They now had a crew large enough to maintain a sea voyage, so Petyr mounted her again and they motorboated out to sea, but that is a tale for another time!


End file.
